What happens in Thailand

04 Dec 2011 2 Comments

by Yatin in Travelogue Tags: alcazar, coral island, massage, nong nooch, thailand, travel, underwater

Selected takeaways from my Trip to Thailand

A vegetarian Thai massage

Yes I got myself the popular Thai massage, but adding disappointment to your imagination and mine, this massage was as vegetarian as India’s Saravana bhavans. It was no more sensual than the movie Jodha Akbar, which had a section of the audience wait with enthu for something to happen. The only kinky moment would be when the masseuse grabbed my butt-cheek and took me by surprise, which made her giggle. While this pursued, my mother sat on the other side of the curtain, getting a foot massage while she and her masseuse rambled away on a variety of topics such as how the masseuse’s daughter had hooked up with an Indian guy and was very happy with him. True to its reputation though, the massage was relaxing and a great way to unwind. It is indeed possible to find family friendly massage parlors.

Cultural shows are boring, Cabaret shows are fun!

4:00 pm, Nong Nooch village, Pattaya

It was quite an exercise slapping myself awake as similar looking Thai women moved back and forth to clichéd oriental music. My mom had dozed off, while dad had a befuddled expression as he tried to decipher the story. This was followed by a very poorly acted out muay Thai wrestling match with 2 malnourished boys humoring each other with arbit kicks and punches. The cultural dancers kept coming back in new sarees and one could make no sense of what they were trying to tell. What was amusing to see, was this kid seated in front of us. Throughout the show he had his fingers plugged into his ears as he cut himself out of the torture.

Scandalized kid at boring Thai cultural show

This pissed-off elephant couldn’t take the boredom in his work life anymore and added excitement to his life by attacking a section of the audience.

Pissed-off Elephant

7:00 pm, Alcazar show, Pattaya

Within a few hours, the mood had totally changed. Welcome to the Alcazar show, Pattaya’s premier all-transvestite cabaret show. Amazing lighting, costumes and music blended together as transvestites boggled your mind and entertained you at the same time. I have ever since been studying the following photos in great zoom detail as to how can someone that hot be a dude. I’m pretty sure this guy puts to shame all the girls from my college and yours.

Alcazar Show - hot dude 1

Alcazar Show - hot dude 2

The thrill of adventure

I love that moment just before a thrilling experience begins. The moment when you approach a river rapid or when you’re asked to walk over the cliff while rappelling. The coral island tour in Pattaya offers a couple more. Though parasailing is simple, it’s pretty exciting as the rude Thai adventure pimp straps you up with harness and shouts in your face to start running of the rig and into the sea. Just before you’ve run off, the boat speeds ahead and you’ve taken flight. When you’re done flying around like a bird and enjoying the view of Pattaya’s hotel skyline, he drops you right into the crystal blue sea and you wait while another boat fishes you in. Even better is the moment at deep sea diving, when they ask you let go of the railing and fall into the sea as soon as he has placed the oxygen enabled helmet onto your head and then you go underwater to walk the sea bed as you’re surrounded by fishes and coral.

Underwater sea walk

Go for it! This was perhaps my best moment in Thailand. Really high on the to-do lists now are the skydive and the bungee jump.

There’s a lot more to tell about this trip. Perhaps later. Till then, Ciao!

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